skyrover9:

mkaiser323:

It’s fun to chant “Bloody Mary” into your car’s side mirror three times and watch her jog and try to keep up.

Being a dick even to demons

hyperlink37:

talents include looking 12 and saying thank you to the bus driver

whatisitcalledagain:

fat-grrrl:

sometimes I forget that Americans have to pay for university upfront like what the fuck is that are u guys ok

no

"Women are considered fragile but I’ve never seen anything as easily wounded as a man’s ego"
-(via saturniine)

lhommewalk:

i saw a white boy playing an acoustic guitar on his porch so i yelled at him “play wonderwall” and he said he never heard of that song god what’s the fucking point of white boys if u can’t even make fun of them

takealookatyourlife:

This is hilarious in the darkest way because this tree is holding the dead corpse of one of the other trees

takealookatyourlife:

This is hilarious in the darkest way because this tree is holding the dead corpse of one of the other trees

tomlipinskisfreckles:

okay so i was just in the park and i saw a cloud that looked like a penis so i watched it for a while and it seemed to get wider and then a plane flew by and left a white trail so long story short i just watched a cloud ejaculate in slow motion

texas-red-dirt-sunset:

introbulus:

one-hamburger:

dicksp8jr:

fionaaelizabeth:

If corals get stressed they die, so if I was coral I would be dead 

what do coral even get stressed about

Current events

I sea.

guys, i work at an aquarium and my coworkers and i have literally laughed at this for three days straight. everytime we pass each other we whisper “current events” and crack up. our customers think we are nuts.

i’m sorry but i’m not ashamed to like shitty pop music

how the fuck am i supposed to dance around my room to bon iver 

furr:

catholicnun:

Someone please sum up what I need to know for chemistry and algebra 2 and French 1 and world history

h2o, a2 + b2 = c2, oui oui baguette eiffel tower, obama 

theheatofthesouth:

Suddenly you’re 21 and you’re screaming along in your car to all the songs you used to listen to when you were sad in middle school and everything is different but everything is good

stumphyllus:

IF YOU ONLY STARTED FUCKING LIKING FALL OUT BOY AFTER SAVE ROCK AND ROLL CAME OUT THEN thats really cool dude I’m really glad you love this band I love, you wanna borrow any of my albums or anything let me know.

alfredont:

THIS IS THE WHOLE PLOT TO MEAN GIRLS AND I DIDNT G ET IT UNTIL NOW. THANK YOU RACHAEL

alfredont:

THIS IS THE WHOLE PLOT TO MEAN GIRLS AND I DIDNT G ET IT UNTIL NOW. THANK YOU RACHAEL

anninymouse:

My dream for The Avengers: Age of Ultron is that it starts out with each of the Avengers getting a call early in the morning that they need to come in, and when they get to Clint, they’re like, “We still don’t have Romanoff’s new location, so if you have a way of contacting her, pass the message to her as well.” Clint replies, “I’ll see if I can track her down,” and hangs up the phone. Then he rolls over in bed and is like, “Hey Nat, get up, they need us.”