lavakid:

asexuals will win the skeleton war because we won’t be distracted by anyone’s bone titties

callerina:

hisprincessinconverse:

danfreakindavis:

REMINDER: if you have a vagina and want to use Plan B as an emergency contraceptive, it loses effectiveness if you weigh more than 165 lbs (74.84 kg) and is completely ineffective for those that weight more than 176 lbs (79.83 kg) (x)

Whhhhat?
Excuse me.
Let me spread the shit out of this.

This is horrifying. And sadly true.

cyanblur:

i remember one time the simpsons made a joke about fox news and they got so insulted they tried to sue them but the court was like “this aired on ur network u can’t sue urself”

fake deep tumblr post: drink 8 gallons of water....eat mangoes so ur snatch smells good....eliminate 1 toxic friend a day...and your life will be fixed =)

todorokililian:

a movie in which all the main characters are unknown actors but all the background characters are really famous actors

fckmulac:

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

fckmulac:

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

george-the-slut:

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD IT HURTS

george-the-slut:

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD IT HURTS

sparklehime:

sparklehime:

look at this card

i really don’t want a popular post please i just wanted you guys to LOOK at the card

sparklehime:

sparklehime:

look at this card

i really don’t want a popular post please i just wanted you guys to LOOK at the card

iseeavoice:

therainbowgorilla:

qalaba:

iseeavoice:

A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”


Vampire: “The fair is in town, maybe a date will help…”

human spends the whole time in the hall of mirrors

#AREYOUSERIOUS

WE HAVE A NEW WINNER.

a practical guide to becoming a true pun master

animeteen:

  1. accept that no pun is actually Good, but that the true nature of a good pun is to be so terrible that it becomes good.
  2. say every pun that occurs to you. i’m so serious about this, sometimes the most well received puns will be ones you considered not saying.
  3. ALWAYS laugh at your own puns, even if nobody else is. (especially if nobody else is.)
  4. know that you are hilarious. puns are a limitless resource and you have taken it as your duty to bring this gift to humanity. you are a hero.

imgross-ok:

aboutwhitewomen:

If men aren’t allowed to have an opinion on abortion, then they shouldn’t have to contribute to federal funding of breast cancer research.

"if i cant control a woman’s body, then i want that body to die"

(p.s. anyone can get breast cancer)

xxwonderlandangelxx:

animubutts:

chrispyfishinc:

Inspired by a friend

This should seriously become a children’s book

I really love this because it shows that no matter what gender you identify as, you can still dress however you want and feel confident.