problackgirl:

*99% of black people all agree that something is offensive*

1 black person comes out with their cooning self and says ‘actually you know what I’m black and I don’t find this offensive tbh’

White people: OMG FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT. YESSSS. SEE YOU GUYS ARE OVERREACTING. WE ALL BLEED RED WE ALL SUFFER EQUALLY. WE ALL BURN IN THE SUN!!!!!!!!

Me: But I have about fifty books at home I haven't read, there's no reason for me to buy these.
My brain: Okay, but consider this: more books.
kurtsaunt:

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom


Perfect.

kurtsaunt:

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

Perfect.

glowcloud:

I have to say the Kim K app was an amazing business idea and I feel like it has already done wonders for her brand. Now I see pictures of Kim Kardashian and I think “that’s my extremely generous friend Kim she really got my modeling career off the ground”

sebastiandebeste:

*hears a single word from a foreign language that i know* Wow. haha not to toot my own horn or anything but did you guys know that you are in the presence of a sophisticated linguist

sirlightbulb:

55mph:

sirlightbulb:

What do you call a dead text post?

any of yours

A text ghos-

Excuse me?

breadsigh:

please friendzone me. I want to be your friend so badly

dreamerofderse:

dreamerofderse:

oh this is gonna be good


I was not disappointed 

dreamerofderse:

dreamerofderse:

oh this is gonna be good

I was not disappointed 

fuckheaded:

Clearly she wears those short skirts and skimpy tank tops because she wants the d. and by d I mean vitamin d. she wants to soak up as much sun as she can. because revealing clothes are not an invitation for sex u prick

wienrs:

if you’re reading this i’m beautiful

Plot Twist

spookymeon:

The villain has the hero at gunpoint. Everything seems lost. Then the hero has an amazing idea: Make them talk. So the hero says “Now since I am as good as dead, tell me: Why are you doing this?”
The villain smiles and shoots him.